words can never be enough.

Hello fiona here again! Still got one more day before I fly off. It has been such a great experience knowing God n u guys for these two very short mths...thank u all. U may think I might be too immature, not sociable, independent or adaptable enough to go for this exchange prog...u r rite I am not... I am trying to learn how to be such a person. Actually I was supposed to apply with my frens...one backed out bcoz of boyfren n e other bcoz of poor results. But I decided to go ahead just to try my luck...coz cant go in third yr mah. I could have drop out of it at one point or try to sabotage my application but didn’t leh. I cant say I was dat excited to go without my frens plus no one from ntu is going there loh. Thinking abt it now I am sure God had meant it dat way...David in psalm 139 said God fashioned all the days of our lives even before we were born. I am sure where ever I go he will be there w me always! Actually I am not sure y I was so insistent on going to aus...could have gone some asian country w a lower exchange rate. Sob! spend so much $$$ liao...I feel really bad. About $ 6000 liao so far on comp, visa, insurance, rent, admin charges. I knoe I will pay my parents back double e amt when I start working! Dats a bit ambitious! Previously I am just this worried freak, worrying abt who will be my hostel mates, project group or who will be my frens. Coz I am just slacking at home mah so I become this freak just counting down the no of days as if to doom’s day n scolding myself for stupidly putting myself thru all this stress n worries. I could have just stayed in spore n feel unsatisfied n bored w my life! For the encounter weekend, Pastor Debra gave me this verse Matthew 6:31-34. How applicable man! Its so strange n surprising coz I dun really show this side of me in frt of others…its an internal turmoil thingie. As 1 john 4: 15-18 says there is no fear in love; but perfect luv casts out fear bcoz fear involves torment but he who fears has not been made perfect in luv.
( application?) I was thinking hey if I fill my thots n heart w God’s luv...y should I be afraid or worried abt anything! Now I am praying for a lot of courage...the worry freak voice seems to have become softer n softer...it doesn’t bother me as much as it used to liao. I am kind of excited to go there after such a long wait! No matter how diff going these 4 mths will be...I am sure I can always depend on him. Praise e Lord!