words can never be enough.

Hello fiona here! Its my first time writing this is soooo exciting. I am back fr the encounter weekend n I am bursting to tell someone abt it but got no one to tell to so tell u all loh! Hee hee! Hope I dun bore yah! Anyway I just joined it without really knowing what is it abt, just thot it’s a church camp..but I was in for a surprise. Hiah hiah! Anyway it is also to pei grace since she so lonely n furthermore I am quite bored at home mah. Mel’s crash course did give some insights thou! A little on my spritual background-been a christian dating back to fairfield but only recently started attending church. I began to treat going to church more like a chore I perform dutifuly each week, there’s a barrier I have put up preventing me from experiencing inner joy for the Lord. I can’t fake it neither can I act like I have. Perhaps with this I brought that barrier along together with much skepticism.

The first day was kind of boring n the movie was quite corny. But I was quite touched at the last part when he decided to share his testimony with the class. Perhaps I dun have the courage as he did. My group was great, most of them are nus students. They were pretty easy going. The next day, for the first two sessions, the teachings were quite boring actually but I couldn’t help feeling overwhelmed / touched ( not exactly the right words to use but its hard to describe) by the songs we sang n tears just clotted up. When we prayed ourselves n the music just continues in the background, I really couldn’t help shedding a few tears. I was trying to hold back my tears n tell myself I dun need anyone to pray for me. At one point I just feel like stop singing n blocked out the music fr my ears so that I wont cry. But I couldn’t, i feel really self conscious abt crying in frt of others. But later my group met up with pastor Debra. She was asking me how I felt about the 2 sessions…at that point the events of the day n the emotions seem to caught up with me n it opened the floodgate for the tears to flow freely. I couldn’t tell her much…it so difficult to describe everything in words. But I know as she prayed for me…there’s a warm sensation running over. It feels so much better than to hold back all that tears. I really can’t remember much of y I cried after that. Yah I know I cry really very easily, that’s a way of expressing my feelings rather than just putting it down in words. The fourth session- tearing of the paper, it was really emotional. Again I was just trying to hold it back, but I began to sobbed uncontrollably when my guide prayed for me. It feels really warm n nice to be prayed of for. My tears just stopped flowing when the prayer ended. After that I really cannot remember what I was exactly crying about. I just feel different, no more stress, no more depressive thots, no more worries, no more me. like i have left the past n me behind, i feel like on another planet. Neither happy nor sad just somewhere in the middle. another emotional peak for me was during the healing of the inner soul session where Pastor Josephine prayed for me n the song “complete” was really so touching. Much of the same happen but I know each was a different experience when i will end up crying. The combined sessions, was quite scary thou, everyone was “fainting” n falling around me. It didn’t happen to me.ha maybe I was too distracted n couldn’t concentrate. Err I didn’t pray to receive the ability to speak in tongues, dun knoe y leh.

I definitely learned a lot thru this encounter weekend. Most importantly, I learned not to be shy in expressing my luv for HIM. I had many wins n loses. Lost my pessimism, worries, sins, bondages, self-consciousness (still got a bit lah). Won hope, luv, optimism, confidence (got more to work on), friends. Dun expect a 360 deg change, I just feel different, neither happy nor sad just somewhere in the middle. I have more to work on but I know I have just moved another step closer in getting to know HIM. I will get baptised when I come back from Australia k, maybe I should attend another encounter weekend when I am back. I am quite afraid I might backslide when I am there but dun worry I will remember to pack HIM in my suitcase. I am very thankful to mel, grace, cell group members , carolyn, other members of the group, pastors n other sisters for guiding , praying n for all the help in anyway that have helped to make this encounter weekend an enjoyable n wonderful experience for me.