Hi guys fiona here! Right now stuck in my office typing this because they have got nth much for me to do…so very bored. Its amazing how everyone can go on living or working like usual when so much so much has happened over the weekend. I just feel like standing up n scream that people r mourning and dying out there while we still can sit at our office desks in front of the comp. We just dun knoe how lucky we r…our little red dot would probably have sunk if the tsunami had hit a diff direction. But we must still go on living our lives….i must go on living happy that I am still alive. The headlines of yesterday’s streats struck me “ it was as if GOD had released his anger” how true…affected countries with a high percentage of non-believers. It also struck me that ever since christmas day it has been raining regularly everyday…it feels like GOD is crying for the many lost souls. Its occurrence on christmas day needs no explanation what it can represent. So sad how sad. I know what I can do at least…I want to tell you all that u guys are great n I luv yah lots. I am thankful and grateful to have u all as frens! Let’s continue to pray for lost souls.

Thank you des n von for affirming my self confidence n image. U guys (all of u), church n GOD have been filling up the vacuum that I have reserved for that special someone by stealing away my weekend. No idle time no idle thots! its great to be single sometimes. No boyfren no luv problems n headaches! But dun u think e easiest person to get along is URSELF. crushes r okay so long as u dun invest too much luv, time n effort into it. Being single u often find urself the butt of teasing with every available guy but oh well i am getting used to it n mastering e art of acting blur. been too good looking i realised its quite a headache when u ve too many choices...u just find urself caught in a dilemma. i nv had such a headache before! in the meantime i will just continue acting like a high school girl having crushes now n then n concentrate on graduating n finishing my attachment. zhuzhu (my male pet rabbit) is gd enough for the time being...he is my little angel that showers me with his unconditional luv n joy. My 2005 new year resolution is to step out of this depressive mode n be positive.

P/s: So sorry regina if I snapped at u that day….really u dun have to introduce anyone to me..if it was meant to be whoever would have noticed me n thus needing no introduction at all. Let me learn how to luv GOD wholeheartedly first, I dun want to be a burden to anyone.

hello all~
this is yvonne here. would just like to affirm fiona for sharing her heart during the Retreat. i so wanted to tell her that she is not alone in feeling that way too. about the whole boyfriend thingy. but i didn't really know what to say after that, guess i had to organize my thoughts n put them down here.

i had manophobia before and i want to announce that i am no longer afflicted by it. i really used to dread talking to guys and really hating it whenever guys are invited to outings. i'm just a little shy now talking to guys, but the phobia is gone. as i've claimed in my blog before to overcome manophobia by the end of this year. and Praise God! haha i did. i asked God to give me guy friends too, because in sol i had learnt that it is good to have a balance of guy and gal friends. and He did. sending a couple of them along my way haha.

but of course there are days when i feel doubtful about myself because everyone around me seems to be attached or to have guys interested in them except for me. i felt that having a guy interested in me would make me feel better and more confident about myself. i guess alot of girls face this sort of issue, but few really articulate it out loud. and the fact that fiona had the courage to share it really touched me.

but i know that that is a lie. about the fact that i need a guy to make me worthy. but i believe today that i am beautiful and pretty in my own way. because my lovely sisters and mother here always tell me so. and i am starting to believe in that too. :D you can see that i have more confidence in me as compared to before~ so fiona, you ARE beautiful and pretty in your own way too. as we all are.

mel always preached about "unyoked relationships" but that i feel it is just a symptom of something deeper. it's about being confident and satisfied in God. because when you are, not even Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise will waver you. it's an easy thing to say, but it takes alot of struggle and working through to get there. and i am still getting through to it.

it is not wrong to have the desire to want someone to love and like you i guess. coz God placed those desires in us in the first place. but to serve God must be the first thing on our minds and He has promised us, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all the rest shall be added unto you." [my fav verse hehe]

yep yep, and i admire valerie too for her decision to even decide to serve God wholeheartedly and breakaway from past r/s. it's not an easy thing, and God will honour that decision. hmmm think i have said alot...but wow. i think i am good. hahah.

maybe i should go write a book instead. heh.

Wanna share a song from Nadine's worship in Encounter Weekend. She said it was the song that led her dad to accept Christ the first time he heard it. Hope it speaks to us too ;)

Majesty (Here I Am) by Delirious

Here I am
humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Here I am
humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Hey hey!! I miss YOU people! Two weeks of not meeting the cell alr. Update me on the happenings pleaseee? Looking forward to tmr's magicBox, and you know what? We have a new member (ZL's friend) who's a drummer! But he's a guy [so can't keep permanently :( ]

I just came back from Encounter. It's so wow! for me... This EW does not have many of those wailings, that is the people there not super emotional like those EWs I've gone before. But I cried so much. It was not a easy task going as a guide especially for people I do not really know. I was scared for a few nights... and I must say it's really hard. But God is good!! Other than letting me return back to the basics like the cross and His love, He also healed me. I really thank God for doing a great work in the BP cell. I thank God for every breakthrough in their lives. It wasn't easy for them too. I guess this EW is special 'cos almost all of us went through some kind of inner turmoil... each in a different area. Nadine had it when she had to lead worship, Mel had it when she had to do teaching for one session, the BP girls had it for their different struggles surrending different areas to God, I had it when I had to be alone with unfamiliar people. I thank God that yes, everything came out GOOD! We all overcame! His love sustained us through... I wanna confess that the only reason y i went EW was 'cos of mere obedience out of love for GOd. I said I wanna pick up the cross to follow Him and so I went tho I was so fearful. And to me, it wasn't easy... but He held my hands and walked with me through. And I thank God I'm blessed by the Encounter and the people. So I encourage us all to take the step of faith out of love and I trust that He'll bring us through, no matter how tough. ;)

hello here i am again~ hehe i promised earlier that i would post a revelation right? but i think today i shall post something else...because i feel that this verse speaks very close to my heart.

1 samuel 12: 20, 22

"Do not be afraid," Samuel replied "You have done all this evil; yet do not turn away from the Lord, but serve the Lord with all your heart...For the sake of his great name the Lord will not reject his people, because the Lord was pleased to make you his own."

i am touched by what samuel has said about God. because i know many times i fall short of God's perfect standard of being sinless and blameless in everything that i do. and i often feel guilt and sometimes i feel like running away from God because of that. and this verse really tells us that God knows our humanity and imperfectness.

he understands that sometimes we may fall and yet he still says that he is pleased to make us his own. and today when we sin, he calls us not to turn away from him...because there is no condemnation is Christ. what we should do is SERVE HIM WITH ALL OUR HEART.

no matter what you have done, God will never forsake you. so hehe...my dear sisters...today don't let sin draw you away from God. but let it remind you how much you need God.

let us all apply it into our lives today k?? God bless. this is von here. hehe.