Plopped onto earth again

Hi
I don't know how long it has been, but it sure feels like it has been a thousand years since I step into this side of the world.

Yes I am still alive!

I've never been so good at going missing, I aced it. SMSes were sparse too, I think everyone thought i might have chewed my phone in my stressed and confused agonized mind. Anyway i thought i should correct a popular belief that I am stressed. Actually i dun get that. I just get sad.


So, it definitely helped to have great colleagues and that God is always only a conversation away. I don't pray, I just whined. Like "Oh GOD...why like that......." to.. "OH DEAR GOD...I am so tired....... " to..."GOD, I want to give up...." and "Father, please bring me the taxi....."

Yes, I have been down and out... dealing with exasperating stuff at studio.. re-do re-do to infinity..a simple thing until it made me feel like crap that I can't even do a simple thing..in fact, a simple yucky stuff that I am utterly ashamed of but I just couldnt seem to change it.....and so someone (anyone) will say of cos my self-worth is not based on a simple stupid paper design...but still trust me..at those times..u just feel like crashing your head into the monitor screen in front of you and just die there. And the auntie sweeping the floor the next day will just think " joy to the world! she finally decided to stop killing so many trees printing so many urgly designs." Maybe you dun understand but at least, my monitor will agree with me. oh maybe my boss too.

Then came a bout of... dealing with machines that are 3 times bigger than me... machines that can saw off your fingers and drill holes into your palms..machines that can chew off your head... yes.. I am good with using all these.. tell me if your house needs renovations.. and don't be surprised I can hammer nails into walls like a man. Yet, this whole nei nei prototyping process is killing me cos' I am just not good enough! I can't build a good model without faults without having something go wrong. They just have to break down on me..and my stubborn hands simply can't craft the material into what I need them to be! I just jinxed all machines that I work with... well done pris. well done. *faints*

So..... work is tough for stupid people like me. I need a new brain.

But thank God, a small battle is over for me and I came out..not totally unharmed...in fact quite bruised on both my ego and my fingers..but when the dust settled and the exhibition opened....there was a small frame of time to reflect. I didn't go hide out at lil india, my pensive lil' room. I just stood at my exhibition place and looked at it all. So much to be done better..so much that can be done better.

This time it didn't get me down as much. I understood something. That i really need to kick my lazy laidback blur negative nei nei attitude aside and take some positive actions. And so i always talk and no action and that is no good.

A lil bit of sincerity, a lil bit of focus, a lil bit of purpose.

It was actually hilarious and at the same time alarming, that I dreamt of pastor deb. one night and she just said, "you are selfish." haha. wierd. but got me thinking. yes maybe.

So, in a few days' time..it's another battle. This time a goliath all the way till January end. I hope to be ready then. And I hope to be like David.

Before that, a lil advertisement, our team's exhibition is at

Sculpture Square,
located along Middle Road,
Opposite Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts, walkable from the Central Library at Bugis/ City Hall there...
Near Laselle... opposite Fortune Centre
It's till 6th December.

Entitled "Object as Architecture, Architecture as Object"

do drop by to be a lil bit inspired!

The Singapore Design Fest is simply getting better and better... so.. maybe we can organise a trip to go around the different venues that will be exhibiting if you all are keen on sunday after service..designs..art installations..architecture... all things you can identify with even if u r not a designer.

The opening party was over for our exhibition at sculpture square so there are no longer free drinks and cocktails..but there are other party venues throughout this week still. I am sorry for not notifying anyone. I didn't realised I didn't informed anyone cos' my stupid brain couldn't multi-task.

Meanwhile take care and see you all cos i have landed on earth again finally.
I hope I bought a one-way ticket this time.

:)

Our humble lil' celebration at...The Deck!!

Chng's bday wish...What could it be? It's gotta be...World Peace! Lol.



And our gorgeous lady of 21 poses with her tiny lil' cake. Cheong aren't u glad she went off on Sun so u could have the big big cake to yrself?! Hahaha.

Happy Birthday Cheong!!

The delicious cake--we just couldn't wait to get our hands on it. Every crumb was devoured.

Our beautiful sister getting ready to cut the cake...or us? *trembles*

more of the Princess of God!!

Emmanuel our wonderfully cute Tribe Baby. May u have one soon Cheong, for us to play with! *Hee*

Nick is coming..

HEY..Let's all move together to invite our friends who needs an affirmation today! =)

Updates...

Just Some random Pics!

Dear family...

First of all... "HOW ARE YOU?" It's been an exciting season with a number of us embarking on new journeys (new relationship, work, etc). But.. hmm... it seems real quiet here.. :P It'd be really good if we all start blogging yeah.. cos in the midst of our own lives, it is still important to stay connected.. So that we can remember that tho' we are on different journeys, we all run the same race for Christ. As a family, we are here to spur each other on in this race.

As for me.. i have recieved my new posts and class deployment.. it sure is tough.. I had a few nights where i just work up at 5 plus am..as if it's normal school teaching days and started thinking abt lesson planning.. :( For the new year, i will be teaching (sec 1Express, 3 express, 5 normal acad, 3 normal tech-supposedly t the most challenging in school.)Most English teachers quota is 3 classes.. this plus other duties (sec 3 level coordinator/cip coordinator) make me rather fearful.. After i have talked to my head.. she said that she understands my apprehension, but cos of shortage of manpower.. so no choice.. heh.. But i still believe that the Lord will bring me thru this and that His grace is ALWAYS sufficient..so praise the Lord.. i have resumed my normal sleep hours. How about you all? how are things on your side.. post up ok, so thaat we can be praying for each other. Please keep me in prayer too.

For our tribe, it is also a new year coming.. the year of sabbath.. i am praying and seeking Him on how we can move in His presence. I am also projecting how i will be able to balance my various priorities. I understand that for meeting in groups, it might take some time to adjust, but i believe that it will really anchor us strong in fellowship in the Father and each other. Meanwhile.. continue to love one another.

The upcoming dates have been given via calendar and gone thru during the last cell.. hope that you all have taken note and will take greater effort to rem the mtg dates.

These are the remaining meeting dates:

25th nov-congre mtg

2 Dec- Nick service, cell time after service

13 Dec- Cell gp

19-21 Dec: Family retreat

24 Dec: Christmas party+carolling

27 Dec: Youth Marketplace training

29Dec: Presentation of Plans for 2008 (TCT consol room)

30 Dec-congre

31 Dec- Countdown party

Could you post up in your groups by 30th Nov the names of your friends you are inviting, so that we can all be praying, let's not waste this opportunity... cos i believe that Nick's testimony will really impact lives..lt's be exciting in seeing our friends blessed.

Also i need to know who cant make it for the family retreat on the 19-21Dec, other than elaine... otherwise it is taken that you are cmg yea..=)

Meanwhile let's keep Peng in prayer as she does the exhibition end of this mth.. also pray for the NUS pple who are taking their papers.

Hope to hear from u all..

Mummy mel

the GIANTS in my life

Ever since school started in aug, i felt as if i lost my sense of joy and happiness. i felt more strongly during the middle of the midterm break (which is last week), where i just couldn't help but feel directionless.

suddenly, it seemed as though my life lacked purpose. all i did each day was just Go to sch, Come back home, Do work, Sleep. how tiring it was when i saw no purpose behind all these. even though i could go out, i somehow felt like any sense of joy was robbed from me and i didn't want to even hang out much with my friends.

no idea why, but i began to reject connections with my friends and the many times they asked me out diminished to not bothering to ask me out at all, knowing full well that i'll reject them. i felt guilty, but i did not do anything about it. i kept telling myself that i have to go home and finish my work. perhaps then, when i've accomplished doing them will i spend time with my friends. i don't want to neglect my work. but work never ends... that i sadly learnt recently.

during the midterm break, i promised myself that i will accomplish my work well before school starts again. so, i will have time to go out and truly spend time with my friends - without any burdens of work on my back. somehow, temptations crept in and when the holidays were nearing an end, i panicked. i felt useless as things did not go as i planned. my purpose of life revolved around school work. and so when my plans failed, it seemed that my purpose in life was lost. although it seems dramatic now, but i truly felt so lost back a couple of days ago that i refused to do anymore work. "what's the point when work never ends anyway?" that's what i thought to myself.

then back on monday, upon the start of sch again, i entered my class and i mentally told myself to believe that i've done sufficient work in the holidays, and i did not waste my entire week. cliques from around me started asking one another, "Eh! You did your assignments already anot? Next week must hand in leh!", "Sian lor, next week got so many work to hand in!" Seriously, when i heard that, i freaked out. i've always thought that the essays were to be handed in much later... This time i really panicked.

Just yesterday, I was led to read a previous letter that my friend in JC gave to me just before the As. i was quite surprised at myself as i seldom looked back on my old letters. But i just felt this prompting and this desire once again to read the letter, as if it was just given to me, i wanted to know the contents.

It wrote,
"This is supposed to be a letter of encouragement, but i think you need to relax instead. (._.''') see you like very stress, later go crazy how...?? studying isnt wrong la, but sometimes too much pressure can backfire too ya know? Just tell yourself you can do it -
YOU NEED CONFIDENCE!"

It's funny how God speaks sometimes. The words spoke so vividly to me that i teared upon reading it. Simple words of encouragement, similar scenario. It never occurred to me that i pressured myself. I realised now that I do, even though I always thought that stressing myself is for my good.

Throughout the whole of last week, I kept asking God to show me my purpose once again.
"I'm lost Lord! Guide me, will you?"
Yes, I know, surrender to the Lord and He will answer and help me find what I seek. But i still wasn't able to hear from Him. I went to church that week asking Him to speak to me. "Lord I want your assurance today. Take away my burdens plz!"

Today, He spoke to me. Through quiet time.
And so here I am, speaking to you too.

In times when things go bad, I am used to people saying, "I'll pray for you."
This is what I say to others too.
But many a times, we quickly turn to the Father when we have problems.
How about times when we have joy? Shouldnt we practise turning to Him too?

He gave me my sense of direction and my purpose in life again.
Although living in this material world often overwhelms us, our sense of direction should be to Him.
To look and trust in Him, and believe that He truly has a purpose for all we are going through, no matter the pain we are feeling right now. Simple as it is, I often struggle with it.

I'm sharing with you right now of my JOY that things are finally going right for me!
Will you pray for me?

:)

Fiona Banana and Guifang's birthday

Happy Birthday!!

Erm. Nice cake. The knife is stuck in the cake.

Nothing to do with birthdays. Sik trying to be funny.
Never die before, mess with a DreamTeam jacket person.

Updates and dates =)

Hey hey.. how have you all been?? Just some updates on the upcoming mtgs so that we will not be too confused.

22/29 Sept: Re-encounter (Val, jen gg)
23 Sept: Ps Debra congre (to pray for exams and careers) + Cell mtg after tat (the agenda will be further decided)
20-21 October: Upcoming leaders retreat. Theme "ratatouille" (did i spell it right?). This will be open to cell leaders and people who have been serving Gb (the officers).

For Our family time aka mel's G12.. i let you all know the dates again when i finalise stuff k.. It might or might not stay on fri. So it will either be a fri or thurs.. thanks for all ur understanding.

Please pray for Fiona's lesson observation +des, regina and nuanyi for directions in job. The family seem to be facing common obstacles esp in the aspect of work.. Keep posting yeah.. Prayer request/testimonies/updates.. heh.. crap can do too..

Love u all! DO encourage each other to keep reading the blog.. Don't miss out yeah!

it's us~

goliaths in our lives

El: has fears of rejection and hence the burden of having try getting people's acceptance. The fears come in the forms of having to make friends with strangers in classes, speaking up during lessons and initiating conversations with people she do not really know well, and ultimately, affecting serving in church to have (if) a cell of people she didn't begin as friends.


sik: has fears of having to make a time-termed commitment and being responsible for serious matters cos of burdens to meet expectations of consistently being able to do so.(often personal-induced)

regina...will share soon (:

Mel's fears and burdens to not carry

dear daughters..

I think i have share most of it at cell.. For me i have a tendency to carry the responsibilities of the walk of you all, kai , my family and even the lives of my students which become really overwhelming, cos in school, as i was just looking at their profiles.. it pains to see their famiy backgrounds. i really realised that we are very blessed with our families.

For me, i have to over come my fear of gg back to teach and facing unresponsive pple in my life, cos the kind of people whom i fear most are angry people and unresponsive people.

it's great to know that we are spurring each other on in this race.. for those who haven got the posts up.. do keep it gg.. to stay connected.. hope that all in the family is viewing the blog.

love ya

Our Giants -that we need to face

hi there, i'm blogging our burdens on behalf of our group (fiona, des, guifang and me)

Guess its really a transitional period of the three of us in our work.

Pray for guifang that she will learn to conquer her maths problems that seems difficult to solve.
Pray for fiona, that she will be bold and courageous to face the giant in her life. her evaluation, that she will pass this evaluation and go to NIE happily. That she will persevere on to hang on to this dream of being a teacher.
Pray for Des, that she will be patient with herself in picking up the skills and training in her new working environment. That she will not put so much pressure on herself and that there will be favor between her and her colleagues and boss. That she will hang on tightly to God during this period of time.
Pray for me, that i will learn to let go of people who are close to me. Let go of cell members and surrender to the Lord knowing He can carry my burdens better than i do, letting go of them knowing that they do not belong to me.

Thats all i remember, p.s. please correct if there are any more that i mite have left out.
Let us be overcomers in Christ!

-val

Not by might.

Here's what we have shared on Sunday, do keep us in prayer!

Xue Mei - feels burdened to do more for her grandma, but encounters guilt because of her own limitations. Grandma is really sick and doctors' prognosis isn't optimistic.

Gwen - feels that she should do more to spread Christ to her family members, worries that her family members will pass away before knowing Christ.

Yvonne - sometimes I feel responsible for the GB girls and the way that they have turned out. I feel bad that maybe I could have done more, and I feel guilty sometimes for not caring more about them.

Our homework assignment

OUr burdens

We feel that we are responsible for the growth of our members and friends..like mel said, carry other people's monkey....
At times, when we dont see them grow, we feel unsure whether are we doing enough, are we good enough
We feel unappreciated at times....just felt prompted to share with u all something..hee..Working at uwc really taught me a lot..
There was once where i help a kid to get the ball from a steep slope..was really scared..though i am big..yup haha....
The next day, i tried to smile at the kid.but he didnt response..felt like he had forgotten what i did for him..because all he cares for was his ball...feel unappreciated...but God reminded me that He knows what i did...
Just wan to affirm u all that God sees all your effort...all the things that u have done..and He wants to say a big THANK YOU...hee..ok hope u all understand what i am trying to say..haha..

OUr fear

We fear losing the people we know..we are not afraid of death..but afraid of seeing our loves one dying especially if they dont know the Lord yet..Please pray that our family will be saved..pray for nuan yi's grandpa..he is very old already..pray that He will believe in God.

Pray for jen. She fears that she will go back to her old ways
Pray for me. I fear rejections, afraid of losin the people i know.
Pray for nuan yi that she wont fear failures.

By Cheong =)

Free Spirits

Been a rocky week, with ups and downs. Thank God sch is really getting better, and i'm so blessed. Being heckcare like always, i didn't bother to print lecture notes, but somehow 3 diff ppl in my 3 diff lectures happened to print extra/had to print for themselves last min so helped me print. In any case, i just went to class empty-handed and always ended up with lecture notes from a friend. And one lent me her RBR notes to photocopy--those in NUS shd know these are like rare treasures, plus i bumped into a yr 3 friend who lent me her book for this sem so i need not buy/hunt it down somehow. Praise the Lord! =)

Free Spirits. It's always a controversy, whether God's laws liberate or restrict. If the latter were true, wouldn't that make all Christians Dead Spirits? If one were to be too caught up in the rules, then i believe it would kill our spirit. But that was not what God intended, for it is truly impossible for us to abide by all the laws. Yet it is the Heart of the Law that matters, it is this that liberates. It's a matter of perspective, and maturity. It's a matter of wisdom. The difference btw seeing a law as liberating/restrictive lies in how far you see. For many of us in our infancy see only the immediate future. We want to yield to our pleasures. Now. But if we were to look into the crystal globe, the consequences of these temporary pleasures yield much destruction. Initially, it may appear liberating to be able to do whatever u want to, whenever. You could get into all sorts of nonsense and feel in control. But after awhile, who controls who? I'd think the nonsense controls you. And that hardly seems liberating.Still there were times when i was close to embracing something i know will not have a future. Sometimes it seems, even education can confuse you. Learning to be critical bout everything makes one wonder sometimes, who's to say what's wrong? Sometimes excessive knowledge, when mishandled, can cause destruction. It's like in the Garden of Eden, when Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, God said they would die. While they did not die in the way they'd imagined, which was what the evil serpent manipulated to cause them to doubt God, they died to innocence, they died to purity, they died to that intimate closeness with God. Once they'd everything they needed and wanted, a perfect utopia, now they were cursed and had to endure suffering in the world. God knew that they would not be able to handle the Knowledge of Good and Evil, so He commanded them not to. But they disobeyed, and while there remained traces of good in men, it was the evil that proliferated. So much obscenity in the world today, so much suffering and agony, because of that Fruit our ancestors couldn't resist. I'm not saying that we should thus quit studying, but that along with greater knowledge comes greater risk of stumbling, and we should hold on tight to Wisdom in those times.

But it is certainly Folly speaking when you know deep inside what your conscience, or the Holy Spirit, says and choose to drown out that small, still voice anyway. Sure your flesh will fight, you'd try to justify your own ends, and of course the devil will take the chance to join in and fan the flames. But i've chosen to yield to my flesh too many times and reaped the undesirable consequences, and no longer will i do that. I choose wisdom, i choose to listen to the small, still voice that is always right. But that does not mean i am thus a Dead Spirit. On the contrary, when i made the decision i felt free. Cos i may not be in control, but God is. And better Him than me, cos i trust Him more than i trust myself. I am a Free Spirit, because my Lord Jesus, He sets me free.

FAREWELL.... WE MISS YOU DEBBIE & SUET...+VONNE CONVO

VONNE's SPECIAL DAY!

At the airpot, where we bade farewell to suet and debbie.. i remember that it was an eventful day.. with yvonne's convocation and the send off... OUR family had some new additions..

Val +reg family.... Pray that they will grow strong together, regardless of distance.. God will close all distance, physically/spiritually and emotionally. Welcome back liling and mabel..

DEbbie.. a grandaughter i will remember, of that time at the beach where she shared something with me and i know that she is one after God's heart, and one who is steadfast in her values and will not settle for God's second best for her.

Suet.. One i will miss.. She often adds laughter, being herself, so candid and true.. ENcouraged by her emails to keep us updated.. Hope to see you back soon!! Moo moo ~

The prelude to the macs birthday celebration.. Peng puts together her secret invitation.

With much help, it was done...

PENG's BIRTHDAY

OUR FAMILY PARTY


OUR SPECIAL BIRTHDAY GIRL

ONE BIG FAMILY... SPOT YOURSELF =)

PRAYER WARRIORS AT WORK

BIRTHDAY GIRL AND HER BLESSEE

WE LOVE YOU PENG PENG!!